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My experience as an only child caregiver
The Dance Of Love as a Child Caregiver

I never looked at caring for someone you love as a job, or that it would be given a title of caregiver. In the fall of 2005 my mother and my best friend, Lillie, lost her sister, who had recently undergone hip replacement and to whom she was a caregiver due to a recent hip surgery. Two weeks later we lost my aunt’s only daughter to lung failure. It was a lot on my family and especially my mother. One night my ex-husband overheard my mother saying to me that she was afraid at night at home alone. He came into the room where we were talking and asked my mother to move in with us and she did. Then another blow came. In 2010 my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Since she was already living with me, it was a good thing. I say it was a good thing because first, she was familiar with her living arrangements and surroundings which is very important for an Alzheimer’s patient. Second, she was in a safe home where people loved her and would care for her. Third, we had a routine in place, which made living with this disease a bit more manageable. I personally thought she was more likely to enjoy life and feel like she belonged at home with these three things in mind.
A therapist once said my mother was a child when I needed one and I was an adult when she needed one. That was our special bond. This made me think of our relationship as the dance of love because we were able to interchange places in order to fulfill each other’s needs. Nothing had changed between my mother and me, we have always been in a dance of love. We were always able to communicate with each other verbally and nonverbally. To explain, we were definitely connected physically and spiritually. In light of the Alzheimer’s diagnoses, I knew our love would grow even stronger since we always depended upon each other’s love to get us through happy and sad times.